Where did my baby go?

And where did this toddler come from? Where did this wonderous little human being come from? It seems as if almost overnight the little baby I knew has been replaced by an amazing little boy with a mind, knowledge and personality that come into being in the blink of an eye.

I witnessed this new little person do things on his own twice tonight and my heart is just so full at his accomplishments.

Tonight Jacob had prunes and apples after dinner. Not a glorious feat in and of itself. Well, since he doesn't eat fruit I guess it is. What makes it truly amazing is he fed himself using his own spoon! He wouldn't let me have the spoon so I figured, "why not" and dipped the spoon into the container with him still holding onto it. Next thing I know he's dipping the spoon, with my help of course, and feeding himself! And, he finished the whole container! Where did he learn this? Where did he figure out using the spoon is how you eat? It boggles my mind that after me showing him just a few times and him watching us eat he's figured this out. No formal instruction at all. What a smart boy!

Then, the moment that melted my heart. Just a 1/2 hour ago I carried Jacob upstairs to bed. I fully expected to rock him to sleep and put him in his crib completely passed out. Not tonight. He had other ideas. I stood at the crib straightening his sleep sack with him balanced on one hip and all of a sudden he reached for the side rail. He practically dove in head first! Again, figuring "why not" I laid him down and he was instantly in his spread-eagle sleeping position looking up at me sleepily. He looked at me as if to say "Okay mama, I'm ready for you to tuck me in now". So I put him in his sleep sack, rubbed his tummy and in a matter of minutes he rolled over into dreamland. I just can't get over this big boy development.

All these things make me so proud of the boy he is becoming. Yes, I find it a bit sad to see my baby isn't around much more and my toddler is here to stay (at least for a while) but honestly, I'm not that sad or hearbroken or longing for the days when he was smaller. This is the future. I look forward to seeing him learn all these new things and develop his sense of self. These are good things.

Give me coffee!!!

Why am I on a kick for coffee? I don't like coffee. Okay, that's not entirely true. I do enjoy coffee, but only good ones and usually when it's fresh ground beans. Rarely do I drink coffee outside of the weekends and even then, I only drink it in the morning, at home. It's rare I drink coffee just because I want it.

Never do I drink regular coffee at a restaurant or from the machine in our kitchenette at work. Yesterday and the day before I had office coffee! Then today I stopped at QuickChek for a french vanilla coffee. This is so unlike me. I actually prefer tea.

I guess my body's telling me it needs it. I guess there's something in it I'm craving. God knows what that could be though. Don't think it's really the caffeine to stay awake because I have been sleeping. I wonder what it could be?

This is just so all surreal in a way. Even funnier considering not 4 days ago I told someone I wasn't really a coffee drinker. Damn her. She put the idea in my head.

I guess I can always chalk it up to cycles, hormones and being female. Yeah, that's it.

Who the @#(% invented pantyhose!?! I don't know but I can sure as hell guarantee it was a man. No decent woman in her right mind would subject other women to the torture of trying to put these blasted things on!! A torture I endured this morning.

As I stood looking at my clothes this morning I decided, "Hey, why not wear a skirt?" I haven't worn one in ages and after digging one out of the closet that I had completely forgotten existed, I was pretty excited to add this piece back to my wardrobe. Usually, I wear black tights with my long black skirts and boots but this time I was out of luck. I'd just thrown one pair out because of a big hole behind the knee and the other pair were in the wash. No problem. Luckily I had pantyhose. Or at least, I thought I was lucky. When I got them up about mid-calf I was already cursing them out.

I felt like with each pull my legs were being stuffed into sausage casings! Each attempt at pulling them up was more and more difficult. No turning back though. I was not going out with nothing on my legs. First off, I hadn't shaved in over a week and second off, I felt naked without something covering them. There was no turning back.

I tugged and I pulled and I huffed and I puffed and I grumbled and after what felt like 10 minutes, I had them almost pulled on. All that was left was to "readjust" and pull up the panty part. Not seconds after this monumental accomplishment did I hear that dreaded sound. The quiet sound that makes your heart sink. The sound that indicates you've just put a rip in the hose. Sure enough, a rip stretched from the top of my leg, past my knee and about 1/2 way down my calf. Flippin' figures!

I thought about it for a moment and came to the decision there was no way in hell I was taking these things off after all that work. There was no way I was giving up after my long struggle. I was wearing them and that was it.! I did what lots of women in my situation do. I pulled out the nailpolish and McGyvered them!

You can be sure that when I get home I'm taking them off and searching for the man that invented these blasted things so I can strangle him with them. Oh, and I'm buying more tights too!