My son's favorite thing to do right now is pretend to be Spiderman at bedtime. He stands on his bed waiting for Daddy to say which bad guy he is and run out the room. My crazy son then pretends to shoot out webs from his hands and jump off the bed, always declaring first "Spiderman's here!". Off he goes as Spiderman to chase down the bad guy who usually is hiding on the other side of the bed in our room or behind the arm of the couch in the spare room. Something new to me in this game of good guy vs. bad guy was revealed last night.
I'd never watched this part of hte process before, just heard it from the sanctity of my son's room since this is daddy & son time. I was told last night I had to watch this.
My son will "tie up" the bad guy in the web rope and drag him to jail in the hallway where he locks him in. He locks in the bad guy using a hand to basically put up one wall on top, one on the bottom and two on the sides of his dad. Watching this however makes it look like he's a priest blessing someone. It was so unexpected to me I laughed, doubled over with my hands on my knees.
I guess Superheroes would need preists too huh?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Having Been There, Done That Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be
There are some things where it is fun to be an expert. It’s fun to be the one people come to for advice on making that perfect casserole, planning that perfect dinner party or recommending just the right book. It’s fun to watch people take your advice or recommendations and go with it. I typically like being able to guide people but there is one aspect of life where I don’t want to be an expert.
I don’t want to talk to my coworker about how to deal with her niece and sister-in-law who are facing her niece’s leukemia at only three years old. I don’t want to talk to her about just letting herself cry when she needs to or how to explain to her own three year old about the changes in her cousin’s appearance and why she can’t do some things or play some games with her right now. I don’t want to be a shoulder to cry on. I don’t want to be the one to tell her what she should and shouldn’t say to her sister-in-law. I shouldn’t have to live through this because it isn’t fair. No one should have to deal with this let alone a three year old. I don’t a world where kids suffer.
But I will do it. Because I know she needs it. She needs me and my perspective. We have been in the same shoes. She with her niece, me with Dylan. We’ve both lived through it. I will do it because she is my friend. *tears*
I don’t want to talk to my coworker about how to deal with her niece and sister-in-law who are facing her niece’s leukemia at only three years old. I don’t want to talk to her about just letting herself cry when she needs to or how to explain to her own three year old about the changes in her cousin’s appearance and why she can’t do some things or play some games with her right now. I don’t want to be a shoulder to cry on. I don’t want to be the one to tell her what she should and shouldn’t say to her sister-in-law. I shouldn’t have to live through this because it isn’t fair. No one should have to deal with this let alone a three year old. I don’t a world where kids suffer.
But I will do it. Because I know she needs it. She needs me and my perspective. We have been in the same shoes. She with her niece, me with Dylan. We’ve both lived through it. I will do it because she is my friend. *tears*
Dear Lord, am I in the mood for lovin'. And that's being polite about it! *sly grin* Sex, is all I've been thinking of for 2 days now. All I want to do is be in bed, or anywhere for that matter, with my husband. Forget work! I want to be home! You’d think having a great night with my husband last night would help satisfy the urges and I’d go on my merry way. Well, I’m certainly going on my merry way but the urge isn’t gone. I still want more.
I know why that is. I mean other than the fact I love being intimate with my husband. It’s amazing really. In the last year I’ve become more in tune with my body and have found nature sends very strong signals when it’s time to try adding to the family. And wow, when I’m ready nature certainly sends me strong signals! Sex is constantly on the brain. When you stop to think about it, before all the ovulation kits, before the practice of taking temperatures, before the days of websites telling you how to track your cycles this is how life went on. Nature just guided you.
My recent non-bedroom activities have been helping to encourage this, whether I realized it or not.
I have always been an avid reader. For as long as I can remember I always lost myself in books. I’d read for hours on end. I still do when I can find time. When reading I completely lose myself in the setting, the emotions and characters. I ‘see’ their world. It’s great for an escape, not so great when movies are made of my favorite books. lol
On top of being able to lose myself so much in a book, I’d say I’m a rather sensual person. I am definitely a person who enjoys touch, aromas, tastes and having those linger. Music affects me quite a bit when I sit to listen and it can stir up many emotions. I’m a romantic at heart who loves thoughtful acts, words and deeds. Put the reading, music and sensuality together and a slow burn seems to happen; a lingering need that hangs in the back of the mind; a desire that must be acted on and can’t be pushed aside.
My current mental state, shall we say, I’m 99% sure is due to books I’ve been reading, conversations I’ve been having with friends about those books and that has driven the music I listen to which keeps this vicious cycle going. Reading about intimacy between characters, their love and lust for one another just or hearing music with the right beat or tone and a sexy vocal adds fuel to a fire that’s always hiding in the background.
Sometimes the fire burns so low I forget about this part of myself. I get so lost in the role of mom and tending to family things: the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the organizing for the next day that I forget sometimes to focus in tending that fire. Sex and intimacy fall by the wayside and feel more like another chore to add to the pile. As I said to a friend yesterday, this is no means an excuse for my intimate life to this point with my husband but more of an awakening if you will; a realization that I need to rekindle that part of me. I need to remember along with everything else I am, I am also a woman. I need to help the fire burn brighter and let it burn. It may sound so simple to some but it is so easy to forget.
So if nature is sending me signs, I’m going to go with it. Not because I’m supposed to for Mother Nature but because it feels right and it feels good. It feels so much like what I should be doing. I’m going to remember to feel like a woman and if my husband has to endure it for a few days, so be it. I don’t think he’ll have any real complaints. *grin*
I know why that is. I mean other than the fact I love being intimate with my husband. It’s amazing really. In the last year I’ve become more in tune with my body and have found nature sends very strong signals when it’s time to try adding to the family. And wow, when I’m ready nature certainly sends me strong signals! Sex is constantly on the brain. When you stop to think about it, before all the ovulation kits, before the practice of taking temperatures, before the days of websites telling you how to track your cycles this is how life went on. Nature just guided you.
My recent non-bedroom activities have been helping to encourage this, whether I realized it or not.
I have always been an avid reader. For as long as I can remember I always lost myself in books. I’d read for hours on end. I still do when I can find time. When reading I completely lose myself in the setting, the emotions and characters. I ‘see’ their world. It’s great for an escape, not so great when movies are made of my favorite books. lol
On top of being able to lose myself so much in a book, I’d say I’m a rather sensual person. I am definitely a person who enjoys touch, aromas, tastes and having those linger. Music affects me quite a bit when I sit to listen and it can stir up many emotions. I’m a romantic at heart who loves thoughtful acts, words and deeds. Put the reading, music and sensuality together and a slow burn seems to happen; a lingering need that hangs in the back of the mind; a desire that must be acted on and can’t be pushed aside.
My current mental state, shall we say, I’m 99% sure is due to books I’ve been reading, conversations I’ve been having with friends about those books and that has driven the music I listen to which keeps this vicious cycle going. Reading about intimacy between characters, their love and lust for one another just or hearing music with the right beat or tone and a sexy vocal adds fuel to a fire that’s always hiding in the background.
Sometimes the fire burns so low I forget about this part of myself. I get so lost in the role of mom and tending to family things: the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the organizing for the next day that I forget sometimes to focus in tending that fire. Sex and intimacy fall by the wayside and feel more like another chore to add to the pile. As I said to a friend yesterday, this is no means an excuse for my intimate life to this point with my husband but more of an awakening if you will; a realization that I need to rekindle that part of me. I need to remember along with everything else I am, I am also a woman. I need to help the fire burn brighter and let it burn. It may sound so simple to some but it is so easy to forget.
So if nature is sending me signs, I’m going to go with it. Not because I’m supposed to for Mother Nature but because it feels right and it feels good. It feels so much like what I should be doing. I’m going to remember to feel like a woman and if my husband has to endure it for a few days, so be it. I don’t think he’ll have any real complaints. *grin*
Words That Fill My Heart
While watching a cartoon or some such TV show about art my son heard the word "masterpiece". This is one of the brief exhcanges between the two of us I will always remember. No doubt I will try to recall it often when he's 16, mouthy and caught trying to sneak out of the house.
Him: "Mommy what's a masterpiece?"
Me: (thinking of a quick answer) "It's something made that's beautiful."
Him: "Mommy, you're a masterpiece."
Me: (heart melting and picking him up for a huge hug) "Jacob, thank you. Hearing that made very very happy."
Boy, oh boy, this kid is going to be a heartbreaker.
Him: "Mommy what's a masterpiece?"
Me: (thinking of a quick answer) "It's something made that's beautiful."
Him: "Mommy, you're a masterpiece."
Me: (heart melting and picking him up for a huge hug) "Jacob, thank you. Hearing that made very very happy."
Boy, oh boy, this kid is going to be a heartbreaker.
The Randomness of a Toddler
It never ceases to amaze me how the mind of my 2 year old works. At times his mind is working hard on a task and nothing can get him to deviate from his thought process and then at other times his mind jumps all over the place and he is constantly searching for new stimuli. For lack of a better term I call it his randomness.
On Thursday I picked him up from daycare and he decided he wanted to sing a song in the car. I don't remember what it was but since he loves singing "Twinkle Twinkle" (or at least his version of it) I'll be that is what it was. Shortly after the song was done he giggled. Then out of no where he said "I love you". This may not seem random to some people but it is to me since up until this point he has only said it when he is being told "I love you" or he sees a heart in which case he'll say "Heart. I love you". Where did he come up with this? Is it random or is it really meaning he loves me because I sing with him. I'm hoping it's the latter.
Then one morning he was sitting at the table eating breakfast. He was babbling about someing and all of a sudden said "Green. Blue. Red." I have no idea what he was referring to, what he was looking at or what prompted it. Just *poof* out of the blue he decided to say it. All I could do was say "Ummm, okay Jacob. Good colors" or something to that effect. How is MY mind supposed to keep up with his????
I'm wonder if there have been studies done proving the randomness of a toddler's mind is directly tied to the fact that they really have no social norms imposed upon them. I know this is the case with rules of grammar and why very young children pick up on new languages easily. Maybe the randomness shows a creative, artistic side. Hmmm, all food for thought.
On Thursday I picked him up from daycare and he decided he wanted to sing a song in the car. I don't remember what it was but since he loves singing "Twinkle Twinkle" (or at least his version of it) I'll be that is what it was. Shortly after the song was done he giggled. Then out of no where he said "I love you". This may not seem random to some people but it is to me since up until this point he has only said it when he is being told "I love you" or he sees a heart in which case he'll say "Heart. I love you". Where did he come up with this? Is it random or is it really meaning he loves me because I sing with him. I'm hoping it's the latter.
Then one morning he was sitting at the table eating breakfast. He was babbling about someing and all of a sudden said "Green. Blue. Red." I have no idea what he was referring to, what he was looking at or what prompted it. Just *poof* out of the blue he decided to say it. All I could do was say "Ummm, okay Jacob. Good colors" or something to that effect. How is MY mind supposed to keep up with his????
I'm wonder if there have been studies done proving the randomness of a toddler's mind is directly tied to the fact that they really have no social norms imposed upon them. I know this is the case with rules of grammar and why very young children pick up on new languages easily. Maybe the randomness shows a creative, artistic side. Hmmm, all food for thought.
Something I thought I'd never say
This is another oldie from when Jacob was about 2 years old.
Jacob, we don't swing necklaces.
*Jacob puts on the necklace.*
That's right, Jacob. We wear necklaces.
Who would have ever thought I'd be pointing out to my son the proper way to wear a necklace and for him to know what to do with it. LOL
Jacob, we don't swing necklaces.
*Jacob puts on the necklace.*
That's right, Jacob. We wear necklaces.
Who would have ever thought I'd be pointing out to my son the proper way to wear a necklace and for him to know what to do with it. LOL
One of those "awwwwww" moments
This morning after giving my son his bottle he wanted to climb on our bed. Not the best thing to do since my husband was still lying in it but I let him climb in. Well, he didn't want to climb, he wanted to cuddle with daddy. It was absolutely adorable. Jacob laying under the sheets with his pacifier curled up against his daddy.
I wish I had the camera handy but alas, to go get it would break the mood and my son would clamer out of bed to see the camera.
It is one of the best images I will burn into my brain though. An image to always remember. Peaceful. Harmonious. Full of love.
I am so lucky.
I wish I had the camera handy but alas, to go get it would break the mood and my son would clamer out of bed to see the camera.
It is one of the best images I will burn into my brain though. An image to always remember. Peaceful. Harmonious. Full of love.
I am so lucky.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Hey wait a minute....
That's not how I remember it.
Last week I was happily driving with Jacob clapping along to kiddie tunes coming from the CD player. He was having a grand old time and I was getting a kick out of him enjoying himself that I almost missed it. It nearly slipped by me. I had to start the song over to hear if I'd heard it right the first time.
This wasn't how I remembered it. Did I have it right? Did my parents teach me some twisted version of "Three Blind Mice"? I remember it as "They all went after the farmer's wife, she cut off their tails with a carving knife, have you ever seen such a horrible sight as three blind mice?" Sure enough, that version is dead. No longer acceptable. Too horrific for children. It's gone PC. *gasp*
Now the song goes "They all went after the farmer's wife, she cut them some cheese with a carving knife".
I'm all for protecting children from violence on TV and movies and not exposing them to graphic violence when they are too young but is this really necessary? Do they really need to be protected from nursery rhymes? Dear Lord. I just don't think it's necessary to go that far. I guess a lot has changed in 30 years.
Guess I now have to learn a whole new set of lyrics because daycare and school sure as heck won't be teaching him the "classics" as I know them. *sigh*
Last week I was happily driving with Jacob clapping along to kiddie tunes coming from the CD player. He was having a grand old time and I was getting a kick out of him enjoying himself that I almost missed it. It nearly slipped by me. I had to start the song over to hear if I'd heard it right the first time.
This wasn't how I remembered it. Did I have it right? Did my parents teach me some twisted version of "Three Blind Mice"? I remember it as "They all went after the farmer's wife, she cut off their tails with a carving knife, have you ever seen such a horrible sight as three blind mice?" Sure enough, that version is dead. No longer acceptable. Too horrific for children. It's gone PC. *gasp*
Now the song goes "They all went after the farmer's wife, she cut them some cheese with a carving knife".
I'm all for protecting children from violence on TV and movies and not exposing them to graphic violence when they are too young but is this really necessary? Do they really need to be protected from nursery rhymes? Dear Lord. I just don't think it's necessary to go that far. I guess a lot has changed in 30 years.
Guess I now have to learn a whole new set of lyrics because daycare and school sure as heck won't be teaching him the "classics" as I know them. *sigh*
Friday, May 27, 2005
Thank you sir, may I have another
I sat in Jacob's room tonight giving him his last bottle of the day and as he slowly drifted off to sleep it reminded me so much of the days where I would contently nurse him to sleep. It pulled at my heart strings because I realized what a wonderful gift I've been given and how I truly would someday want to share that gift with another child. Although I'm savoring every moment with Jacob I guess my body and my heart are starting to tell me that in the not too distant future I'm ready for another blessing.
I look forward to that day.
I look forward to that day.
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream....
I don't know what is up with me lately but over the last week I've had 3 vivid dreams. Ones that I remember upon waking and can still recall later that day and beyond. This rarely happens to me. If I do have a dream I remember, it's once every 6 months if that.
One of the dreams struck me as really odd and unsettling because it was sooooo vivid. I remember being in the bathroom staring at a home pregnancy test that said I was pregnant. Very odd since at this point I'm on birth control and even odder still because my husband had a dream that I was pregnant the exact same night!!
Another dream a few nights later was rather steamy and involved one of my fantasy men. You know, one of those men you have on a list of people you'd have sex with if there were no repercussions with your spouse/significant other. In this case it was Keifer Sutherland. Wow, what a steamy dream. I don't recall the exact details but we were both involved in some sort of intrigue and were expecting to part ways. Of course that led to one hell of a send off. LOL
Last night was riddled with many dreams or one dream with many weird tangents. I remember sitting in bed this morning going over all the parts thinking "I need to remember this" but alas I forgot. Still, it was vivid enough for me to remember them when I awoke.
They say dreams have meanings and tie into your subconcious. Maybe I should look into that. See what my mind or body or spirit is trying to tell me. In the meantime, I think it's time to start writing these dreams down when I wake up.
Happy dreaming.
One of the dreams struck me as really odd and unsettling because it was sooooo vivid. I remember being in the bathroom staring at a home pregnancy test that said I was pregnant. Very odd since at this point I'm on birth control and even odder still because my husband had a dream that I was pregnant the exact same night!!
Another dream a few nights later was rather steamy and involved one of my fantasy men. You know, one of those men you have on a list of people you'd have sex with if there were no repercussions with your spouse/significant other. In this case it was Keifer Sutherland. Wow, what a steamy dream. I don't recall the exact details but we were both involved in some sort of intrigue and were expecting to part ways. Of course that led to one hell of a send off. LOL
Last night was riddled with many dreams or one dream with many weird tangents. I remember sitting in bed this morning going over all the parts thinking "I need to remember this" but alas I forgot. Still, it was vivid enough for me to remember them when I awoke.
They say dreams have meanings and tie into your subconcious. Maybe I should look into that. See what my mind or body or spirit is trying to tell me. In the meantime, I think it's time to start writing these dreams down when I wake up.
Happy dreaming.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
The Difference Between Men and Women
Yesterday my husband had a rare day off. He finally decided to take one of his many days of accrued vacation and get some things done he'd been meaning to get to.
Usually when a woman has time at home she'll do laundry, clean, grocery shop, organize things and do other household things. At least, that's what I do.
My husband? What did he do during his day off? He installed a remote kit in his car for his iPod.
The male and female definitely do not operate in the same fashion.
Usually when a woman has time at home she'll do laundry, clean, grocery shop, organize things and do other household things. At least, that's what I do.
My husband? What did he do during his day off? He installed a remote kit in his car for his iPod.
The male and female definitely do not operate in the same fashion.
The Great Gate Saga
Since my son has been walking for several months you'd think we'd have the house 100% baby proofed by now. WRONG. Yeah, yeah. I know. Bad parenting. Fifty lashes with the wet noodle for us.
Anyway, after having a heart attack every time my sone ran out of his room or ours I decided that was it and to take the installation of the gate at the top of the stairs into my own hands. No big deal, right? I had the time at home, why not try installing it? The other ones only took an hour. Surely I could handle it.
HA! Little did I know it would take 2 days, a total of 4 hours, 1 cut, 1 trip to Toys R Us and 2 different gates in order to get it done. Everything that possibily could go wrong, did.
The holes drilled into the sheet rock revealed the stud was too deep in the wall for the screws to drive into. The wall anchors I decided to use to remedy that were too long and bent while being nailed in so I had to cut length off the anchors. After the brackets were finally attached to the wall and the gate attached to the bracket a major problem was revealed in trying to install the locking mechanism on the banister. I needed 2 inches above the gate to install the lock and didn't have it. Thinking I could rig something, I fiddled for close to a 1/2 hour for a solution only to have one bracket rip from the wall, wall anchors and everything and go tumbling down the stairs. In the process it somehow made the gate take a chunk out of my thumb. So much for that gate install.
Off to Toys R Us I went. There had to be a gate easier to install. Found it and decided to tackle it the next day. I wasn't having any more of this after 2 1/2 hours already!
Attempt #2 went much better but it wasn't a breeze. New holes had to be drilled and of course, the stud in the wall isn't plumb so one set of holes went into the studs while the others didn't. Had to re-drill one set of holes. At least that was the only issue and that gate went up in less than an hour.
Eureaka!!! Finally!!! Done!!!
Maybe there was a reason we hadn't installed the gate before now. Maybe some higher power or force was telling us "you don't want to bother since it'll be more than a hassle"? Who knows.
At least I've decovered I'm a DIY Diva. I think I need my own toolbelt now. Oh, and I AM NOT installing the next gate by myself!!!
Anyway, after having a heart attack every time my sone ran out of his room or ours I decided that was it and to take the installation of the gate at the top of the stairs into my own hands. No big deal, right? I had the time at home, why not try installing it? The other ones only took an hour. Surely I could handle it.
HA! Little did I know it would take 2 days, a total of 4 hours, 1 cut, 1 trip to Toys R Us and 2 different gates in order to get it done. Everything that possibily could go wrong, did.
The holes drilled into the sheet rock revealed the stud was too deep in the wall for the screws to drive into. The wall anchors I decided to use to remedy that were too long and bent while being nailed in so I had to cut length off the anchors. After the brackets were finally attached to the wall and the gate attached to the bracket a major problem was revealed in trying to install the locking mechanism on the banister. I needed 2 inches above the gate to install the lock and didn't have it. Thinking I could rig something, I fiddled for close to a 1/2 hour for a solution only to have one bracket rip from the wall, wall anchors and everything and go tumbling down the stairs. In the process it somehow made the gate take a chunk out of my thumb. So much for that gate install.
Off to Toys R Us I went. There had to be a gate easier to install. Found it and decided to tackle it the next day. I wasn't having any more of this after 2 1/2 hours already!
Attempt #2 went much better but it wasn't a breeze. New holes had to be drilled and of course, the stud in the wall isn't plumb so one set of holes went into the studs while the others didn't. Had to re-drill one set of holes. At least that was the only issue and that gate went up in less than an hour.
Eureaka!!! Finally!!! Done!!!
Maybe there was a reason we hadn't installed the gate before now. Maybe some higher power or force was telling us "you don't want to bother since it'll be more than a hassle"? Who knows.
At least I've decovered I'm a DIY Diva. I think I need my own toolbelt now. Oh, and I AM NOT installing the next gate by myself!!!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
I could be an aunt one day?
I spent a nice afternoon with my sister yesterday. A nice one bonding about girl things. Clothes, decorating houses, gardening and motherhood. Whoa! Did I just say that last one? Yes, it's true. My sister and her husband are trying for their first child.
When I think of it, it feels so natural and so bizarre at the same time. It seems natural to be to become an aunt who has a niece or nephew to spoil and a deeper bond with my sister because of it. It seems natural to be someone's aunt, a trusted friend and ally. At the same time it can't be real. My sister is 3 years younger than me and to me she sometimes still is the baby sister who annoyed the hell out of me and wouldn't give back clothes and jewellry she "borrowed". How can she want a baby? She's so young? Then again, I do the math and realize she is the same age I was when I got pregnant with my son. Is that really true? So, I guess it isn't that far fetched after all.
Just call me Aunt Nicole.
When I think of it, it feels so natural and so bizarre at the same time. It seems natural to be to become an aunt who has a niece or nephew to spoil and a deeper bond with my sister because of it. It seems natural to be someone's aunt, a trusted friend and ally. At the same time it can't be real. My sister is 3 years younger than me and to me she sometimes still is the baby sister who annoyed the hell out of me and wouldn't give back clothes and jewellry she "borrowed". How can she want a baby? She's so young? Then again, I do the math and realize she is the same age I was when I got pregnant with my son. Is that really true? So, I guess it isn't that far fetched after all.
Just call me Aunt Nicole.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
I am such a girl
Last night as I sat cozied up in the basement watching TV my husband crept down the stairs declaring "Dunesey is running around with a mouse in his mouth". As he went back upstairs to try and capture the mouse I felt a cringe go through my entire body and I instinctively moved up higher on the couch even though my feet were already off the floor. I had no reason to do this. This was all coing on upstairs. I was safe. Until.......
Moments later, my cat crept down the basement stairs with the mouse in his mouth. He wanted to play with it. Ugh. All fine and good I guess until I noticed the mouse was still alive! He let it go and it tried to run!! Oh geez. This was not good. I know there are mice in my walls occasionally. Several times we've come downstairs in the morning to find the cat's prizes waiting for us. We live behind a farm field so it is inevitable that they make their way in. I can live with finding dead mice in my house but it's another thing entirely to see your cat chasing one through the same room you are in.
Eventhough he took it back upstairs and it escaped under the loveseat (and later under the baseboard) I felt trapped in the basement. I mean, why go upstairs if you are going to have a mouse possibly run across your path? But eventually I gathered up the courage to go up to bed.
Thank God the cats caught it when I was sleeping and my husband dealt with it and I didn't have to. I couldn't have done it. I'm just a stereotypical girl who jumps on the chair.
Moments later, my cat crept down the basement stairs with the mouse in his mouth. He wanted to play with it. Ugh. All fine and good I guess until I noticed the mouse was still alive! He let it go and it tried to run!! Oh geez. This was not good. I know there are mice in my walls occasionally. Several times we've come downstairs in the morning to find the cat's prizes waiting for us. We live behind a farm field so it is inevitable that they make their way in. I can live with finding dead mice in my house but it's another thing entirely to see your cat chasing one through the same room you are in.
Eventhough he took it back upstairs and it escaped under the loveseat (and later under the baseboard) I felt trapped in the basement. I mean, why go upstairs if you are going to have a mouse possibly run across your path? But eventually I gathered up the courage to go up to bed.
Thank God the cats caught it when I was sleeping and my husband dealt with it and I didn't have to. I couldn't have done it. I'm just a stereotypical girl who jumps on the chair.
Monday, March 21, 2005
I truly am lucky.
There are so many times I get frustrated or annoyed by my husband and get ready to rip into him. But then, out of the blue, he does something to make all the frustration disappear and remind me of why I love him.
Yesterday was a day of trying to clean up the clutter in the house. An ongoing project made harder by the fact only a 1/4 of it gets done between entertaining and consoling my 15 month old son. Of course, when he wants consoling he wants only me so there goes much of my "to do list" time.
At 8:30pm yesterday after Jacob finally went down for the night, and I got to reheat that last piece of pizza that had long since gotten cold, I stood in the kitchen as my husband emptied the trash. He looked at me sweetly and said he'd already cleaned up all the dishes. He did it without being asked or pestered and did it because he wanted to. He did it because in his words, I had done all the mommy stuff and this was his way of contributing.
Many women are not as lucky as that. Some have to do all the chores because they are women's work. Some have to beg and beg for their husband's to lift a finger. Some unfortunately do not have a significant other to help around the house. For those reasons, I feel blessed.
Yesterday was a day of trying to clean up the clutter in the house. An ongoing project made harder by the fact only a 1/4 of it gets done between entertaining and consoling my 15 month old son. Of course, when he wants consoling he wants only me so there goes much of my "to do list" time.
At 8:30pm yesterday after Jacob finally went down for the night, and I got to reheat that last piece of pizza that had long since gotten cold, I stood in the kitchen as my husband emptied the trash. He looked at me sweetly and said he'd already cleaned up all the dishes. He did it without being asked or pestered and did it because he wanted to. He did it because in his words, I had done all the mommy stuff and this was his way of contributing.
Many women are not as lucky as that. Some have to do all the chores because they are women's work. Some have to beg and beg for their husband's to lift a finger. Some unfortunately do not have a significant other to help around the house. For those reasons, I feel blessed.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Where did my baby go?
And where did this toddler come from? Where did this wonderous little human being come from? It seems as if almost overnight the little baby I knew has been replaced by an amazing little boy with a mind, knowledge and personality that come into being in the blink of an eye.
I witnessed this new little person do things on his own twice tonight and my heart is just so full at his accomplishments.
Tonight Jacob had prunes and apples after dinner. Not a glorious feat in and of itself. Well, since he doesn't eat fruit I guess it is. What makes it truly amazing is he fed himself using his own spoon! He wouldn't let me have the spoon so I figured, "why not" and dipped the spoon into the container with him still holding onto it. Next thing I know he's dipping the spoon, with my help of course, and feeding himself! And, he finished the whole container! Where did he learn this? Where did he figure out using the spoon is how you eat? It boggles my mind that after me showing him just a few times and him watching us eat he's figured this out. No formal instruction at all. What a smart boy!
Then, the moment that melted my heart. Just a 1/2 hour ago I carried Jacob upstairs to bed. I fully expected to rock him to sleep and put him in his crib completely passed out. Not tonight. He had other ideas. I stood at the crib straightening his sleep sack with him balanced on one hip and all of a sudden he reached for the side rail. He practically dove in head first! Again, figuring "why not" I laid him down and he was instantly in his spread-eagle sleeping position looking up at me sleepily. He looked at me as if to say "Okay mama, I'm ready for you to tuck me in now". So I put him in his sleep sack, rubbed his tummy and in a matter of minutes he rolled over into dreamland. I just can't get over this big boy development.
All these things make me so proud of the boy he is becoming. Yes, I find it a bit sad to see my baby isn't around much more and my toddler is here to stay (at least for a while) but honestly, I'm not that sad or hearbroken or longing for the days when he was smaller. This is the future. I look forward to seeing him learn all these new things and develop his sense of self. These are good things.
I witnessed this new little person do things on his own twice tonight and my heart is just so full at his accomplishments.
Tonight Jacob had prunes and apples after dinner. Not a glorious feat in and of itself. Well, since he doesn't eat fruit I guess it is. What makes it truly amazing is he fed himself using his own spoon! He wouldn't let me have the spoon so I figured, "why not" and dipped the spoon into the container with him still holding onto it. Next thing I know he's dipping the spoon, with my help of course, and feeding himself! And, he finished the whole container! Where did he learn this? Where did he figure out using the spoon is how you eat? It boggles my mind that after me showing him just a few times and him watching us eat he's figured this out. No formal instruction at all. What a smart boy!
Then, the moment that melted my heart. Just a 1/2 hour ago I carried Jacob upstairs to bed. I fully expected to rock him to sleep and put him in his crib completely passed out. Not tonight. He had other ideas. I stood at the crib straightening his sleep sack with him balanced on one hip and all of a sudden he reached for the side rail. He practically dove in head first! Again, figuring "why not" I laid him down and he was instantly in his spread-eagle sleeping position looking up at me sleepily. He looked at me as if to say "Okay mama, I'm ready for you to tuck me in now". So I put him in his sleep sack, rubbed his tummy and in a matter of minutes he rolled over into dreamland. I just can't get over this big boy development.
All these things make me so proud of the boy he is becoming. Yes, I find it a bit sad to see my baby isn't around much more and my toddler is here to stay (at least for a while) but honestly, I'm not that sad or hearbroken or longing for the days when he was smaller. This is the future. I look forward to seeing him learn all these new things and develop his sense of self. These are good things.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Give me coffee!!!
Why am I on a kick for coffee? I don't like coffee. Okay, that's not entirely true. I do enjoy coffee, but only good ones and usually when it's fresh ground beans. Rarely do I drink coffee outside of the weekends and even then, I only drink it in the morning, at home. It's rare I drink coffee just because I want it.
Never do I drink regular coffee at a restaurant or from the machine in our kitchenette at work. Yesterday and the day before I had office coffee! Then today I stopped at QuickChek for a french vanilla coffee. This is so unlike me. I actually prefer tea.
I guess my body's telling me it needs it. I guess there's something in it I'm craving. God knows what that could be though. Don't think it's really the caffeine to stay awake because I have been sleeping. I wonder what it could be?
This is just so all surreal in a way. Even funnier considering not 4 days ago I told someone I wasn't really a coffee drinker. Damn her. She put the idea in my head.
I guess I can always chalk it up to cycles, hormones and being female. Yeah, that's it.
Never do I drink regular coffee at a restaurant or from the machine in our kitchenette at work. Yesterday and the day before I had office coffee! Then today I stopped at QuickChek for a french vanilla coffee. This is so unlike me. I actually prefer tea.
I guess my body's telling me it needs it. I guess there's something in it I'm craving. God knows what that could be though. Don't think it's really the caffeine to stay awake because I have been sleeping. I wonder what it could be?
This is just so all surreal in a way. Even funnier considering not 4 days ago I told someone I wasn't really a coffee drinker. Damn her. She put the idea in my head.
I guess I can always chalk it up to cycles, hormones and being female. Yeah, that's it.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Who the @#(% invented pantyhose!?! I don't know but I can sure as hell guarantee it was a man. No decent woman in her right mind would subject other women to the torture of trying to put these blasted things on!! A torture I endured this morning.
As I stood looking at my clothes this morning I decided, "Hey, why not wear a skirt?" I haven't worn one in ages and after digging one out of the closet that I had completely forgotten existed, I was pretty excited to add this piece back to my wardrobe. Usually, I wear black tights with my long black skirts and boots but this time I was out of luck. I'd just thrown one pair out because of a big hole behind the knee and the other pair were in the wash. No problem. Luckily I had pantyhose. Or at least, I thought I was lucky. When I got them up about mid-calf I was already cursing them out.
I felt like with each pull my legs were being stuffed into sausage casings! Each attempt at pulling them up was more and more difficult. No turning back though. I was not going out with nothing on my legs. First off, I hadn't shaved in over a week and second off, I felt naked without something covering them. There was no turning back.
I tugged and I pulled and I huffed and I puffed and I grumbled and after what felt like 10 minutes, I had them almost pulled on. All that was left was to "readjust" and pull up the panty part. Not seconds after this monumental accomplishment did I hear that dreaded sound. The quiet sound that makes your heart sink. The sound that indicates you've just put a rip in the hose. Sure enough, a rip stretched from the top of my leg, past my knee and about 1/2 way down my calf. Flippin' figures!
I thought about it for a moment and came to the decision there was no way in hell I was taking these things off after all that work. There was no way I was giving up after my long struggle. I was wearing them and that was it.! I did what lots of women in my situation do. I pulled out the nailpolish and McGyvered them!
You can be sure that when I get home I'm taking them off and searching for the man that invented these blasted things so I can strangle him with them. Oh, and I'm buying more tights too!
As I stood looking at my clothes this morning I decided, "Hey, why not wear a skirt?" I haven't worn one in ages and after digging one out of the closet that I had completely forgotten existed, I was pretty excited to add this piece back to my wardrobe. Usually, I wear black tights with my long black skirts and boots but this time I was out of luck. I'd just thrown one pair out because of a big hole behind the knee and the other pair were in the wash. No problem. Luckily I had pantyhose. Or at least, I thought I was lucky. When I got them up about mid-calf I was already cursing them out.
I felt like with each pull my legs were being stuffed into sausage casings! Each attempt at pulling them up was more and more difficult. No turning back though. I was not going out with nothing on my legs. First off, I hadn't shaved in over a week and second off, I felt naked without something covering them. There was no turning back.
I tugged and I pulled and I huffed and I puffed and I grumbled and after what felt like 10 minutes, I had them almost pulled on. All that was left was to "readjust" and pull up the panty part. Not seconds after this monumental accomplishment did I hear that dreaded sound. The quiet sound that makes your heart sink. The sound that indicates you've just put a rip in the hose. Sure enough, a rip stretched from the top of my leg, past my knee and about 1/2 way down my calf. Flippin' figures!
I thought about it for a moment and came to the decision there was no way in hell I was taking these things off after all that work. There was no way I was giving up after my long struggle. I was wearing them and that was it.! I did what lots of women in my situation do. I pulled out the nailpolish and McGyvered them!
You can be sure that when I get home I'm taking them off and searching for the man that invented these blasted things so I can strangle him with them. Oh, and I'm buying more tights too!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
My own personal Christmas carol
Tis the season for exhaustion,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Shopping, baking, celebration,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Sit me down at the kitchen table,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Forgot to send a card to dear aunt Mabel.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
See the empty cart before us,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
My christmas list is just enormous,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Too much to do, too little time,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
but skipping the holiday is out of line.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Soon enough the panic passes,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
And I enjoy cider in BIG glasses
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
All that matters is we're together,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Hoping next year is so much better.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Shopping, baking, celebration,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Sit me down at the kitchen table,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Forgot to send a card to dear aunt Mabel.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
See the empty cart before us,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
My christmas list is just enormous,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Too much to do, too little time,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
but skipping the holiday is out of line.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Soon enough the panic passes,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
And I enjoy cider in BIG glasses
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
All that matters is we're together,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Hoping next year is so much better.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
It's a wonderful world
There are times in your life when things seem to be going along kind of ho-hum and you think you are OK with everything and you are content. Then WHAM, something hits you that makes you realize that yes, you truly are content. You are filled with warm fuzzies. You feel TRUE peace. Everthing seems beautiful and right with the world.
Those moments tend to be fleeting and inspired by the simpliest of things. I had one of those moments yesterday. Actually, it was two moments. And to think, it came from something as simple as the sunset.
Late in the afternoon I walked past one of the large windows in my office that faces west and saw the lovely pale pinks, purples and blues the setting sun painted on the horizon. I had to stop a moment and drink it in. Just comment to myself on the beauty of it all. That was moment #1.
It was on my way home from work that this sunset, my sense of wonder and feeling of peace intensified.
For most of the drive home, which is directly west, I looked at this absolutely amazing sunset. The colors deepening as the evening wore on. The purples and pinks darkening as the night sky began to take over. Moment #2 happened. It struck me suddenly how beautiful the world truly is and how honored I am to be a part of the universe. I felt at one with everything.
Moments like these are rare and I treasure them. I only wish I'd had a camera to capture the moment. But, I guess that would make it less special. Cheapen the meaning somehow. Maybe it is more special to wait until the next moment, whether it be a sunset or something else, rather than stare at a copy of it.
Hopefully the memories of that beautiful sunset and true peace last until the next special moment. Thank you Mother Nature for a true gift this season.
Those moments tend to be fleeting and inspired by the simpliest of things. I had one of those moments yesterday. Actually, it was two moments. And to think, it came from something as simple as the sunset.
Late in the afternoon I walked past one of the large windows in my office that faces west and saw the lovely pale pinks, purples and blues the setting sun painted on the horizon. I had to stop a moment and drink it in. Just comment to myself on the beauty of it all. That was moment #1.
It was on my way home from work that this sunset, my sense of wonder and feeling of peace intensified.
For most of the drive home, which is directly west, I looked at this absolutely amazing sunset. The colors deepening as the evening wore on. The purples and pinks darkening as the night sky began to take over. Moment #2 happened. It struck me suddenly how beautiful the world truly is and how honored I am to be a part of the universe. I felt at one with everything.
Moments like these are rare and I treasure them. I only wish I'd had a camera to capture the moment. But, I guess that would make it less special. Cheapen the meaning somehow. Maybe it is more special to wait until the next moment, whether it be a sunset or something else, rather than stare at a copy of it.
Hopefully the memories of that beautiful sunset and true peace last until the next special moment. Thank you Mother Nature for a true gift this season.
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